Teddi's+Thoughts

=**Teddi's Thoughts** =

Here is an article that caught my attention. It gives us all some food for thought - what do you think? Please read and share your thoughts/feelings on this issue in 2-3 sentences.

@http://www.midweek.com/content/columns/coffeebreak_article/the_entitlement_generation/

I don't believe in rewards but I do believe in words of encouragement. We set children up for a harder fall by rewarding them for everything they do regardless of whether it was good or not. Each one of us has talents and weaknesses. If we do not become comfortable with who we are and knowing our own strengths and shortcomings life becomes even more difficult. jj

It's a challenge to encourage students "do their best work" when so many of them race through Library assignments and are satisfied with mediocrity. Younger students tend to take directions better and will make an effort to do more when they know their work will be displayed; older students settle and try to convince me "it's okay" even when we both know they are capable of much more. I hope that our combined efforts will help to develop self-motivation and pride in their work without needing outside incentives at school and at home. -- Lori 1-30-2012

I agree with what JoAnn and Lori wrote. It is not a question of entitlement. We need to encourage our students to always put their best foot forward and strive to realize their fullest potential. Along the way we need to nurture them through both their failures and successes. Students can often learn a great deal from their setbacks, as we all do. It is best to to learn from our mistakes and build on our strengths. ~WL

I agree with what jj, Lori, and WL wrote :) I saw the consequences of rewarding those who succeeded all the time and ignoring the failures who hoped one day to become as successful as the rewarded. I realized I had to change. I realized these students wouldn't come to their full potential if I kept on teaching the way I was teaching. I think my students realize that everything they do in my classroom MATTERS. They know they MATTER to me, to each other, and most importantly to the world. Without this notion I believe my students would need material rewards to realize, wait a minute I do MATTER. ~ Victoria 1/30/12

Victoria, you are so right. If we are to be a community of learners than everyone matters just as they are. This does not mean that they are not held accountable but even more so in that with acceptance comes the responsibility to be the best that you can be. As Angela said if we are to matter than we must notice and when we commit to something it is with the understanding that we will work as hard as we can because the community is depending on us. jj

One of the hardest things to do is encourage students to try their best, even though at times, 75% and sometimes 50% will get them that 'A'. I always try to tell my students that their mistakes in life will take them further than their successes. It is difficult for them to grasp, until they see first hand that a mistake they made was merely that, and not the end of the world. When they get past that initial step, I really see their confidence soar. - Traci

I think the article made some very good points. I have a 15 year old at home who thinks he is entitiled to just about everything. He hasn't had to work a single day of his life, gets poor grades and yet he believes that he deserves nice things, designer clorthes, and the best that money can buy. My husband says its because he wants the best for his son, but I keep insisting it will back fire sooner than later because he is going to get a rude a wakening once he joins the real world. I teach preschool and believe that even if you raise the bar for them and have high expectations, they will meet you there. It's always good to encourage posiitve behavior and achievments, but we also need to remember that failures are not something to look down upon, but something to learn from. ~RK

"Do your best work!" Everytime I have my students do an activity, I always tell them that I want them to do their "best work." Like RK said, if you raise the bar and have high expectations, the children will meet you there. Of course some will need help and extra encoragement but that's a given they're only in preschool. But I do like to let my students know that I recognize that they are doing their "best work" sometimes I'll give them stickers, stamps or put smiley faces on their papers. In preschool the students still get excited about these things and to them it's not a reward they son't see it that way - to them it's for doing their best work. And if this helps promote good work habits, then so be it - my students are proud of doing their "best work" and so am I. ~KA

I love teaching kindergarten where a hug or a high-five is incentive enough for the children! They all need a smile and a few words of encouragement to get them to try their best in their work. Stickers and stamps also seal the deal. I also agree with Traci - mistakes are mistakes and the kids need to see that. When I do writings on the board, I encourage them to find my mistakes and we all get a good laugh and move on. The children's self-esteem is the most important thing that we can work on, especially in the early years, but also all throughout their lives. ~km

Interesting article ... I'm not one to give praise/encouragement of substandard work/effort, or for things students should be doing. I will if I see something above and/or beyond that student's capability. At this point in the year, (I think) I know my students well enough to know who would benefit from extra encouragement. ~ A.non

//"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."// Martin Luther King Jr. I believe that the only way we are going to get the best out of our students is by challenging them everyday. Teaching them that nothing comes easy PERIOD. I was never a believer of the concept of "Everyone is a winner." To be honest, that is BS! My son has more trophies now than I had my entire athletic career and he is only 6 years old. For what, winning? Nope, he got them for participating. Every single team he is on, he gets a trophy. Growing up, we ONLY got trophies for winning or for individual achievements, not participating. I believe that's why students nowadays are not motivated, they don't want to work hard, and when things get tough they want to quit or cry about it to someone. But I don't blame them, I feel sorry for them. That is not reality and no matter how you look at things, there are always going to be "winners and losers." The losers can be winners if they just TRY and WORK HARD. People are going to fail millions of times in their lives, all that matters is how they respond to those failures. Like Michael Jordan said, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." Nuff said KM :)

Agree with Mr. Coffee. Too much unwarranted praise these days. I'm sometimes guilty of that with my students, but try to catch myself. From what I've read on the research, esteem is only gained when a person realizes he/she worked hard to reach a goal. Esteem cannot be placed on someone by awarding trophies, ribbons, handshakes, etc. I do see this as a problem when students expect to get something back for little effort. Many students associate an A with completing work, not with turning in their best work and effort. Parents fall into this trap too when they see other parents giving unwarranted praise. Now they feel they need to do that because that's what good parents do. Wrong. Randy B.

I think if you give work with purpose and meaning then students will try and work hard at it. A lot of students in my class last year were not the winners, but it wasn't because they weren't trying hard or because they were lazy. They were trying harder than the winners. Some students are not perfect like the textbooks want them to be. Some students have learning disabilities, what about those students? Are they just tossed in a group of other students that don't "try or work hard"? We learn from our mistakes, but what if we think we have no mistakes? What then? Victoria 2/1/12

In school and life, failure and the truth are hard pills to swallow at any age. However, to what extent should we sugar coat a failure so that a child is not discouraged to try new things? If we are honest with children about failure or mediocrity, then children will not be so crushed when someone finally comes along and tells them the truth. We can only learn from our failures which should push us to try harder or work harder to succeed in some way the next time. I was watching //Dance Moms// and the dance instructor is brutally honest and incredibly harsh on the children when they do not meet her expectations. For the most part, the adults seem to have a bigger problem with brutal honesty than the children who usually try harder the next time to meet the expectations set for them. Children and adults need to understand that in life there are winners and losers. If you lose or fail you have to get back up and try again and work hard to meet the expectations that have been set.– AS 2.1.12

When honest criticism is delivered to students in a compassionate and caring way students experience that they are valued. Feeling valued encourages students to produce work that is worthy of praise. When students know that you believe in there ability to succeed they will usually live up to your expectations. Students need to learn the praise is earned and not given indiscriminately. Adah 2/2/1012

Mr. Coffee is presenting a classic, and flawed, slippery slope argument wherin he argues that rewarding young children for participating in an inoccent soccer game somehow leads to the raising of a country full of communist minded individuals. This is a politically biased article, not an article about education. I'm not even going to give this a second thought. Catherine 2/3

In the drama sense, it seems that students do feel more "entitled" as they have more experience being in productions and performing on stage. They want to know what's next and with that, they expect to be a part of it. I have mixed feelings about this because I know that for all the students who participate, they each get something very special out the the experience. However, as long as it is open to anyone who is interested, the students will continue to have these expectations. With this previous production, we had a cast of 40 students. I would say that about two thirds understood the meaning of hard work and appreciated the experience that they were receiving. However there are always a few that make me wonder, why they are there. But in the end, everyone feels rewarded. I do believe in encouraging the students, but I also make it a point to remind them to appreciate what is in front of them. I think appreciation is so important because it keeps us grounded and makes us realize that we are who we are because of others. Cari 2/3/12

I praise all. I praise the ones who need it-more. I praise those who deserve it. Some are quite praises between me and the child and some loud enough for the class to hear. What can I say, I teach K. I'm not trying to kill their self esteem before it's built. But I also agree with KM...not everyone is a winner. Sorry, not eveyrone gets a prize just for playing Bingo- even when you didn't get a Bingo. @2/3

Sometimes in art, making a permanent line or brushmark (that a student did not intend to) on paper presents an opportunity for the student to think of new solutions using the skills they have. Instead of giving up and throwing the paper away... What can they turn the line into? Will it be apart of a bigger creation? Encouragement helps self-esteem and sense of indepence. I place emphasis on students putting forth their best efforts so they gain the ability to take art risks. mt 2/3/12

I can see that the society we live in is quite a spoiled one in a sense. We do need to teach our youth that with hard work comes reward, not just being physically present and going through the motions. The reality is, there are winners and losers in this world, and they aren't who they are, because they do the exact same amount. It's the ones who put in the most that usually end up on top, and they should be recognized for that. "If at first you don't succeed, try again" is a saying I've been brought up with, and I think children need to understand that nowdays too. Being rewarded for everything, good and not so good, isn't the way to go to me. Otherwise eveyrone would be content with being mediocre. D.M. 2/3

The main idea I wish for my students is to be good choosers who always put their all or heart into anything they do. I believe that when you do (no matter what it is) and passionately follow through (come what may)…Your journey becomes the “reward” or “accomplishment” in itself. I am always so grateful when I see my students strive to finally get that “ah-huh” light bulb moment, followed by that smile that shows how proud they are of themselves. They know that they earned it…They are excited that they achieved it…They took ownership of it…And I smile along with them. I’m all for encouragement, appreciating/recognizing personal accomplishment, and taking wholehearted journeys with my students because it can help to teach them that lessons learned (mistakes and all) can make us better people. <3 kc 2.3.2012

I agree that many children today do feel entitled and that it is up to us to help them to understand the feeling of accomplishment that comes from true effort and hard work. It is also our responsibility to help them to deal with the reality that there will be times when others will come out ahead due to a lack of effort on our part or even sometimes when maximum effort is put forth. At the same time, I do want to encourage all of my students to strive to improve. There will be times when a one child is recognized, times when a few are recognized, and times when all are recognized. I think it is important for us to recognize children for different strengths and help them to learn about the realities of society. Kristen 2/3/12

I agree that we live in a society in which children are indulged and I am guilty of doing that to my nieces and nephews!! But I also teach them and my students that they need to work hard and try their best. They should not be rewarded, just because. Along the way, I am their biggest and loudest cheerlearder, giving them encouragement so they keep going. When they work hard and accomplish their goals, I am there to help celebrate and share in their triumph. And.. even when they work hard and they do not achieve their goal, I teach them to pick themselves up and try again. Learning is the journey taken, the mistakes made along the way, and the will to keep trying. ~Jolene

In preschool, I think it is very important to encourage and reassure; not necessarily award at every turn. I agree greatly with Rae when she says that if we raise the bar they work hard to meet us. I KNOW I have high expectations for my students but they are not unattainable. I just know that the children can do more but only if we push them to try hard. I think this article is good for parents to be reminded of. More and more, I meet parents who I feel do not want their children to be unhappy or disappointed ever. I know they don't mean to but it makes challenges that much more difficult for their children to deal with. - Miki -

I really agree with the overall message in this article because it can be human nature to just take what is offered for free unless you are expected to earn it. Earning something is part of what makes it worth having. Oh my...I should listen to myself since my daughter is expecting a big sweet 16th birthday party and she really hasn't been all that "sweet" lately. - Karyn

I think there are times where I am guilty of having done things to make the kids feel "ok" (if they didn't get something), however, I do draw the line. There will be times where you will not get something "just because" - I do agree - I think going through challenges make you stronger. I go through this even now, as an adult. Yes, I may complain, but I try to learn from my mistakes and do better each time. I think we need to support students, but also make sure they experiences challenges that will bring our their fullest potential. - Tina

= Third Trimester Article = Please read and leave your thoughts about the article below.